chelcgotagun

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:33:02 GMT

i should have taken my brothers advice. "we're going out of town and away from everybody for christmas, and i suggest you do the same."

there's really no point in trying to stay in contact with 75% of my family.

and on that note, theres no point in having bridesmaids. i already kicked out one for being an asshole. i have yet to hear from every other one, except from rachel.

i give up being the one to call people and them not answer or even return a phone call.

the end of that.

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 21:58:24 GMT

yesterday i didnt leave the house at all cos i felt like total garbage (pregnancy related). alex brought me a kids size hibachi bowl from hibachi bistro (yum) and i ate about 3 bites and felt shitty so i decided to sleep it off. i slept until 4:30pm and the rest of the time i just sat around watching tv and napped more on and off.

today i slept until about noon and felt pretty much ok the majority of the day and decided to go out and try to get a little christmas shopping done and get some food but right before i left the house immediately started throwing up a lot. don't get me wrong, im loving the fact that im having such strong symptoms becos it means everything should be going well, but goddamn i feel shitty.

so heres a little of whats been going on the past few weeks as far as the pregnancy goes. 2 weeks ago i had to go to the emergency room becos i had a tiny tiny bit of spotting and a little cramping. i was just past 5 weeks. like maybe 5 weeks and 2 days. maybe even less. so they took my blood and did ultrasounds. my levels were at 10,900 which was great cos it meant they doubled as they should have from two days before that. the bad part was, the only thing that showed in the ultrasound was an empty sac. which really isnt unusual for 5 weeks, but is with those hcg levels. they said i was probably going to miscarry. 2 weeks later and i've had no more spotting, no cramping, and my symptoms are stronger than ever. i feel pretty good about everything, my primary care doctor told me to go with my gut feeling. which is, i have a healthy growing baby. maybe even 2 (which would explain why my levels were so high, and im next in line in the family for twins anyways). so i decided to make another appointment for a new ultrasound to see the baby and heartbeat since im about 7 weeks and a couple days now. the nurse on the phone pops all my hope and says "how do you know there's still not an empty sac?" keeping positive, i said "cos my symptoms are progressing every day and i havent had any more problems" and she said "your body can still think your pregnant even though nothing is there." what the fuck is wrong with her? it took me 2 weeks to feel comfortable again and she just destroyed it like that. i KNOW that 5 weeks is too early to see a baby. it is completely normal to just see an empty sac, so why has every doctor and nurse chose to just scare the shit out of me? so, she scheduled me for an ultrasound tuesday to see if anything is there, rather than what i wanted to do which was keep my appointment for december 29th which is NORMAL. i do not want to be treated like this. ugh. so now i think nothing is there again, and alex said "i have a feeling the baby is in there and is fine, and im always right." which he is most of the time. i dont know. guess i'll find out tuesday. and if theres nothing there, i'll be heartbroken. but if there is, im going to assertively ask the doctors and nurses to please stop scaring the shit out of me.

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:21:59 GMT

my craving the entire time has been onions. on everything. cooked, raw, sauteed, onions onions onions. fact: im about to go to panera and get some french onion soup. extra cheese.

i made the menu for our christmas dinner. my grandpa will be coming, my aunt(s?), my mom, dunno who else. i should probably find out though.

for my finals, i got a 102 and a 97. that should make my gpa just about perfect. no big deal!

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:18:44 GMT

the end of the semester is coming up, and im busting my ass to get all my work done on time and learn everything. im ahead of most of the class, but im crazy about getting everything done on time. its already almost november in a couple days, and i get a week off this month for thanksgiving, and school ends on december 11th after finals. where do we have time to finish everything?? anyways, ive been doing badass hair, and theres this old white trash bitch in my class who talks a bunch of shit and does shitty hair and doesnt learn a thing. she talks like harry carry. hahaha. my friend got in an screaming argument with her the other night and i had to bite my tongue cos if i missed theory that night if for some reason i got sent home, i would have failed the semester. but, whatever. fuck that old orange bitch. she tans a lot and is the color of a carrot.

i gotta poopie.

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:50:15 GMT

so i went to the doctor today and got me some more learning medicine. yay.

also i found out yesterday that the teacher made a mistake grading my midterms and i actually made a 98 instead of a 96. i am almost perfect. haha

we had to do finger waves in class yesterday and i got bummed out cos i was doing really good, then towards the end i did really crappy and the teacher made me do it all over again....

i hope i do better today.

the hoes, the clothes, the cars, the loot. public enemy number 1.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:40:30 GMT

there's a lot of things i miss in life. the one time in my life i can say i miss the most is winter of '04. driving around listening to rolling stones. not knowing how the night was gonna go, but it was probably gonna be crazy and fun. everybody was friends. brass knuckles. billy clubs. 40s. parties every night. not caring if the house got trashed cos there would be a party the next night anyways. oh well.

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:07:22 GMT

i cant get the smell of perm out of my nose from school yesterday. ew.

i start FertilAid next week.

i think thats all my updates.

oh yeah i got 96 and 96 out of 100 on midterms. yay!

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:50:16 GMT

so, today sucked. i was stoked for months to take pictures at the rumble of all the neat hot rods from all around, and so i bought some black and white film which was the whole point of it all. and i went to visit alex at work and brag about my black and white film (which is only sold at one shop around here) and then i left to go to the rumble.

i get there, and take some good shots with my color film of some cars and see a couple people and finish my roll of color film and go into hell's kitchen to drink a beer and change my film. i cannot find my black and white film anywhere. i freak out. i call alex and see if i leave it there and his coworkers like "oh yeah i threw it away" luckily, it was sealed so alex went to go look in the trash for it, but his moron coworker fucking unwrapped it and unrolled the whole roll of film, making my film useless. the camera store was closed, there was no point in going back to the rumble, so after months of anticipation, ruined.

i went home and now im drinking mojitos and making a steak dinner. i guess i'll clean the house or something.

: (

i will follow up later in a private entry about the rest of the shit going on lately.

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:57:43 GMT

i've been studying for midterms like crazy and doing a shit ton of hair. i had to order a new mannequin head cos i cut all the hair off all 3 of mine. its been a whole lot of not sleeping and not eating cos im so busy studying.

i havent really gone out to do anything, but we've been doing a lot of stuff around the house as far as renovations go. oh and the bridesmaid dresses are in.

yep. so today we're going to riverfest, and im excited to eat funnel cake.

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:36:05 GMT

i dont have much to update except we've been doing a ton of house renovations and its fun/annoying.

i got a big giant koi fish tattoo on my leg. it hurt worse than any tattoo i have so far.

hung out with some friends from raleigh the other day and saw my mommy.

im doing pretty good in school. and did a really good diagonal 0 degree cut today.

thats all for now cos im tired...

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 18:16:44 GMT

so this weekend should be ok. i cleaned the hell out of the house yesterday and decorated. i talked with alex last night and smoothed things over about the drinking and communication. so we went to wal mart to pick up a couple things. then we went to bed and i woke up with the absolute worst stomach ache at 5:30 in the morning. it was like stabbing pains in my belly. oh, also me and alex had the same dream about Sears. which is really weird. becos we dont shop at sears or havent talked about sears or anything. weird.

so i hung some pictures i made last night for above the couch cos we had a big empty space.

i also got some paper lantern string lights to hang on the patio. they're so pretty. our patio is coming out pretty good.

so my dad and stepmom are coming into town today but we wont see them until tomorrow morning probably. to talk about more wedding stuff. so i got some fresh shrimp for shrimp cocktail but i want to eat them now. but i have SOME self control so i'll wait. me and alex are going to see a show tonight and im making a really good dinner. im so hungry.

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 00:02:10 GMT

today i skipped school and went to our therapist. alone. cos alex had to work. and i wanted to talk to the therapist alone. alex has decided for me that i should quit drinking becos he doesnt drink. i do not bring beer or anything in our house, i dont keep any in the fridge, occasionally (rarely) i will buy one single beer and drink it on the patio. sometimes i go to the bar, alone, to hang out with lector. which im also not allowed to do anymore. i don't ever get drunk. i don't ask alex to go with me, so im not rubbing it in his face. so i go and have like 3 beers and that's that. um, i am not stopping doing something that is recreational for me becos somebody else wants me not to. so we got in this dumb argument. so i went to the therapist becos i felt fucked up, and she told me that its completely fine for me to keep going to the bar, drink, and even keep beer in the house, becos it's his choice that he doesn't drink and its his problem that he has to overcome.

also, she said that i had lost tons of weight since i've last seen her a month ago and a lot of other people have said so too. alex has not noticed. he said he questions our relationship based on the fact that i dont go to the gym as much as he does. he even said "really, i havent noticed that you've lost any weight. i cant tell at all." geez. when i picked out regular gatorade instead of diet gatorade, he pointed it out.

he also got mad at me becos i wouldn't argue back with him, and then told me that i was fucked up for not arguing back. then when i started crying, he yelled at me to stand up for myself. hmm.

the therapist said she thinks he has deep rooted issues with his family becos he thinks they're perfect. she said it sounds like they have a lot of issues. he wanted to break up with me when his dad told him that it was unnatural to argue in a relationship. at all.

anyways. i dont want to talk about it anymore. but, i am sad. and i am going to go sit on the patio with my beer and listen to music. becos i know that it is not fucked up for me to do that.

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:41:36 GMT

so i have an irrational fear (even tho i know its a rare possibility) of getting pregnant. only becos right now, the wedding is 9 months away. if i got pregnant this month, according to my cycle, my due date would be may 8th, 2010. which is my wedding date. so alex has gone to cvs so i can put my mind at ease. he's so great. he has bought me enemas, tampons, and pregnancy tests. hahaha. ok enough of that sorry.

yesterday in class we learned how to corn row!

hahaha

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 14:21:47 GMT

yesterday was my first day of school. it was fun. all the girls seem really nice even tho rachel told me to not talk to anybody in beauty school or make any friends. the teacher is really nice and funny. theres a dude in my class. but he's not gay. and we move to the brand new state of the art campus next week. yay! i was not so happy when i found out i have to spend an extra $1000 on supplies for school. but alex is so supportive he was like "dont even worry about it. do what you need to do. just get everything you need." he's been so sweet lately.

yesterday was our year anniversary. he got me new windshield wipers. which was kind of a big deal to me. it rains heavy here all the time and now i have super windshield wipers. it kind of freaked me out cos he did it while i was sleeping yesterday and i woke up and wanted to go get something out of my car and was searching for my keys and couldnt find them so then i walked in the garage and my car was just gone. also later on after i got out of school and he got home from work we changed and went to eat at outback steakhouse. which was delicious. i got a steak as rare as they could make it so i could eat it better so i wouldnt have to chew as much. oh alex got me flowers and a super sweet card, too. i like it when people write a lot of stuff on a card and not just sign their name. it was a fun day.

also i found out the other day that when they took out my molars and wisdom teeth they had to cut into my jaw muscle cos they were so high up and impacted. which would explain why i still cant open my mouth. but i've pretty much mastered talking through clenched teeth. they said i should be healed in a month. ugh.

tonight one of alex's friends from dc is visiting and sunday we're going to raleigh to discuss the wedding budget with my parents.

we decided to go with a 60s theme for the bridesmaids dresses. like go go dresses. cos the reception will be soul night themed. so yeah. asian themed and 60s themed. should be fun to plan!

oh. i had a bad ass dream this morning. there was some horrible crash downtown and then there was mass chaos and it was every man for himself. i found a big fucking knife and was walking around with it and somebody came up to stab me and i turned around with my knife and said "no you cant stab me, im a slasher too." and they were like "oh ok" and went away. hahaha too bad that wouldnt work in real life.

anyways time to go pick up my school stuff and clean the house.

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:51:28 GMT

surgery wasnt so bad. i was knocked out through the whole thing and hardly remember being there. i remember being at home eating ice cream and reading Modern Bride that alex picked up for me : ) and shark week was on discovery channel so that made my week. today im having problems opening my jaw but i still get ice cream and i have like 30 percocets left.

yesterday it was brought to my attention that some people think i live on easy street. i can see how it might look like that from the outside. poor chelsea who hardly had anything in life owns a house with her fiance now and owns a new car and has the chance to go to school full time without work. BUT i do pull my own and have always contributed to bills and i pay for my own car with my own money. i left my job to go to school so i can have a career so i can contribute more. i got a grant for school so i can still pay for bills and my car. by no means are we RICH, but we are doing well for ourselves. he works still, i am a full time student. i guess just becos i bought tiffani a plane ticket home becos she was in a bad place in texas wasnt enough, now people are asking why i am not helping more. becos i have no kids. we do not have an endless supply of money. we have our own problems. and tiffani is a big girl and almost 30 years old and can hold her own. if she needed anything i know she'd ask. she is capable of doing everything i've done in life. i help my family out now that i can, i help friends out. and i was with alex and loved him when he was dirt poor with no job and we didnt even know he was getting a settlement. im not used to having money. i do not care about money. if we lost it all, i'd be happy just being with him. sure we have our struggles and fights, but we love eachother very much and have an awesome relationship.

thats all i guess.

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 13:26:54 GMT

today im getting 2 wisdom teeth and 2 molars taken out. im so scared. i will probably die.

Sat, 01 Aug 2009 17:55:55 GMT

wowee its been a while. a lot has happened.

i've been in complete agony for one week now becos of some wisdom teeth. they're taking them out next friday so the dentist gave me a ton of pain killers until then. so i've just been floating around. and sleeping. and working during all this. i cant eat solids so its been a lot of soup and pudding. next friday we were supposed to go on vacation, but cannot due to my oral surgery.

my tuition is paid. cosmetology school here i come. i got my parking decal yesterday. im all set. i applied for a federal pell grant and i am getting one. so the day they tell me the definite amount i am getting, i am quitting my job becos my boss is mean and a creep. and cos i cant handle school and work at the same time.

tiffani comes back to wilmington tomorrow. me and alex got her a ticket since her mom is being really mean to her. im excited. but also feel really bad for her.

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:19:11 GMT

so today i am procrastinating becos on my list of things to do is dig a big ass hole in the back yard for the koi pond. alex is at work until 6 so i have to do it myself. no big deal. im just afraid of grubs and worms. asl;dfha;sdfg

its so hot out. and i wish somebody would help me so i'd at least have somebody to talk to.

i have to go to lowes first and get 2 big tarps. one to shovel all the dirt onto as i dig it up, and the second one to cover the hole with so gwen doesnt go in it when she is outside playing. last on the list of things to do today is find a rock supplier. but not like crack rocks. like big river rocks to put along the side of the pond. i want pretty smooth black ones.

i guess i should go start on this....yuck.

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 01:42:17 GMT

im so tired and nauseous. i came home from work today at 4 and started changing to do house work, and fell asleep on the bed for a couple hours and woke up to the repo man coming for the guy who used to own this house's truck.

i have to do house work cos my mama is coming to stay for the weekend, but im sooo tired.

i had this weird stomach pain at work that was making me really ill. it feels like part of my stomach is not there. its like a big burning hole. and acid reflux. and nausea. dunno what thats about.

i dont really feel like updating on the last couple weeks cos i've done sooooooo much and im too lazy to write it all, but i will say that i made a huge chocolate strawberry cake for alex's mom the other day that could easily put anybody into a diabetic shock.

this weekend is the 4th of july cookout here, and a lot of people are coming so i hope im not too tired to get it all together.

we got a new comforter that i really like and alex built my dresser. i love it. i can finally organize my clothes. oh, we got a carpet cleaner that works so good. i wish i had the energy to carpet clean the whole house.

anyways thats all.

pictures!

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:59:07 GMT

life lately...

we have these little dudes all over the yard...they're so cute.

dining room chandalier before (you can see the ugly brass chandalier on the floor)

dining room chandalier after

master bedroom fixture before

master bedroom fixture during (love a man that can do stuff like this ; ) )

master bedroom fixture after

my g-wen

gwen/miso play fight

gwen/miso play fight on top of alex while he was sleeping

: )

punk rock retirement wardrobe...

haha.

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 01:12:11 GMT

home life is awesome. after i talked to alex's mom about everything she really straightened him out. she even is paying for the expensive therapy. so we started going back to kim, the therapist. she's really awesome. she's not boring like most therapists. she's younger and fun and tells it like it is, no holding back. alex is learning how to be sweeter and have more compassion. before, he expected me to be in marine mode. but lately, he's been really caring and sweet. i was in bed sick the other day and had been up with a stomach ache all night and he rubbed my back and took care of me. me and alex's mom are even getting along really well now since i've really opened up to her about a lot of things.

we're really enjoying the new house. we got the covered patio all nice and ordered a new patio set. we are picking up the new dining room set on wednesday and also a new bedroom set, and right now im watching alex install the new chandalier and later on the new ceiling fan. im going to have to post pictures cos the stuff we got is really cool.

oh, and my new car is pretty badass. i can smoke anybody in it. the air conditioning is really cold and its fancy.

work has been really good. they had a surprise drug test the other day so somebody got fired. another lady put in her 2 week notice yesterday so now instead of 2 days a week, i can work full time. which is really good.

i started dressing more "adult" somewhat. i figured i needed a change. so i did the punk rock retirement clothing plan, and bought some fred perry's. haha. now me and alex match. but mine are girl fred perrys, so they're more fitting and cut for girls.

4th of july is coming up and we're having a big cookout. im picking my mom up to spend a couple days here, im really excited. and some of our friends are coming out, and alex's parents too. so im pretty stoked about that.

blah blah. i am too hungry to type. maybe later with pictures

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:14:20 GMT

look what i brought home today..

also, the house is officially ours. : )

Sun, 31 May 2009 14:17:24 GMT

tonight and tomorrow night are my last days of my life sleeping in an apartment. fuck apartments. im so over them! no more noisy neighbors. no more lack of parking. no more partiers. no more not being able to turn the living room into a pool. haha im ready for our house! : D

closing on the house is 9am tomorrow morning. i've been kind of sick the past 2 days with some kind of weird cold, but i have to work today so i will just drink a bunch of coffee.

nothing new with wedding planning except me and rachel are going to go look at wedding dresses this coming week.

and that is all.

Thu, 28 May 2009 17:00:26 GMT

i'm going through an orange phase. i love everything orange. orange orange orange. i used to hate that color. but its my new obsession. i ordered orange hair dye tonight. i got a new orange tank top. we are painting the new living room orange.

i got new sugar skull plugs today. then we went to the mexican restaurant with the balcony at the beach and it was so good.

we went to barnes and nobles and ulta andddd that was today.

oh, we close on the house on monday. weeeee

Tue, 26 May 2009 13:49:33 GMT

we have been watching alex's parents house for the past few days since they are out of town. which is cool since all our stuff at the apartment is in boxes ready to move to the house next week.

parris island was fun. i saw a bunch of boots (new marines) getting yelled at. i took some pictures of it. i will post them later. we went to visit a friend of alex's who is a drill instructor now. oh, we stayed in a super nice hotel.

i was going to get a new vw beetle, but instead i'm going for a new vw jetta. i test drove the jetta yesterday, its really nice and has european lighting (the silver super fancy lights) and is dark silver. leather interior. rides really good. reason being, i love the new beetles, but they are 2 door. we're talking about babies in a couple years, and i am not trying to get a car seat in and out of a 2 door beetle. so im going for a more "adult" family type car.

we got our priest for the wedding. it's actually alex's priest from when he was in the hospital. she's supposed to be really cool. so im happy about that. im going to go talk to a guy about our wedding cake either today or tomorrow. still havent started dress shopping. im procrastinating cos i hate the shape of my body and i dont want to be depressed. haha

work is going good. im about to go in to do some stuff there.

other than that, nothing else is going on... so that update was kinda bland.